TOEIC L&R TEST: 900点超えへの道

TOEIC L&R TEST で念願の900点を突破するまでの道のりを綴っていきます

Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan :  3x01 - Falcon

"FORBIDDEN. NO ENTRY!"

 

The launch vehicle test was a setback, but we have identified the issue, a simple manufacturing defect. Once the components are reengineered, the project can proceed on schedule.

 

- How long?

 

- Six weeks, no more. I apologize, sir. We need more time.

 

Yes, yes, of course. You must take all the time you need. Best to be precise in this line of work, is it not?

Your government is very proud of the work you are doing. This has not been an easy assignment, and you have proven more than capable. Thank you, everyone.

We live in complicated times.

 

Is there a problem?

 

The old ways are dying, Luka. The leader of our great Republic humiliated on the world stage, met without rebuke.

- We've lost our nerve.

 

- Yes, sir.

 

- You have children?

 

- No.

 

When you do, you will understand. Sacrifices must be made, or we will be as expendable as they are.

 

- Sokol?

 

- It's become a noose around our necks. Too dangerous to be allowed to continue. You will take care of this, won't you, Luka?

 

Yes, sir.

Egorov! Lebedev!

 

Yes, sir.

 

The general has given orders. Sokol is over. It is to be shut down. Completely.

 

Excuse me, sir. Are you saying...

 

You know what he's saying.

 

Yes, sir.

 

Most completely, Sergeant Lebedev.

 

Yes, sir.

Let's go!

Move!

Go!

 

You're up.

 

- How far out is she?

 

- Five minutes.

 

Don't stay out too late, dear.

 

Twenty-three.

 

Firebird has landed. She's got company.

 

Hello.

 

Ambassador, a pleasure to see you, and thank you so much for everything.

 

- Hi.

 

- Hi.

 

Minister.

 

Zoya.

 

Jack.

 

You're investigating the Sokol Project, yes?

 

Yes.

 

Sokol was founded during the fall of the USSR to develop a small-yield battlefield nuclear weapon invisible to all radar, undetectable. You can imagine the repercussions of such technology.

 

Well, they were trying to start a war.

 

Well... now the program's been reactivated, and they seem to have finally developed a weapon.

 

Where is it?

 

All I know is that they're moving it.

 

Where are you getting your information from?

 

Let's just say it's someone who shares your concern. My apologies.

 

For what?

 

The fuck do I pay you for? So you can let any asshole in off the street?

 

Fucking mama's boys can't wipe your own asses!

 

Was getting kicked out part of the plan?

 

It was, actually. Fastest way out.

 

Was getting thrown out on your ass part of the plan, too?

 

Unbelievable.

 

I see you took the early flight.

 

Oh, yeah. I wasn't gonna miss this shit. How'd it go?

 

Not great.

 

- Project's active?

 

- Way worse than that. The weapon's been built.

 

fuck.

 

If NATO is really moving missiles into the Czech Republic, we must respond.

 

Is this the defense minister's opinion or yours?

 

Minister Popov and I are in agreement on this. He's already on his way to Prague to meet with the Czech president. I'll be joining him there.

 

Those antiaircraft missiles don't pose a serious threat.

 

No, but the message they send does.

 

It is a bargaining chip. President Kovac wants something from us. That is why she leaked the information before the summit.

 

And what does she want?

 

You would have to ask her.

 

And play her game? I suggest we move troops into the region and show the Czechs that hostility will be met with force.

 

What do we know about President Kovac?

 

She's pragmatic, which shows she can be persuaded.

 

And what do you recommend?

 

I provide intelligence. I'm not a politician.

 

Which is why I'm asking you.

 

I will keep our enemies close. Easier to slip in the Knife, if necessary.

 

What do I need to know about Popov?

 

This will be his first visit since you were elected president. Before he was made Russian minister of defense, Dmitry Popov served in Ukraine and Afghanistan. Held the position of Marshall of the Russian Federation.

 

I know his résumé. What about the man?

 

Old-school Russian hardliner, soaked in vodka, and a black belt chauvinist. He's not a man comfortable with powerful women.

 

What man is?

 

Make sure we have reporters at the castle. From Mladá fronta, Blesk, Právo, all the outlets.

 

Madam, Russians requested no media presence.

 

A lot of reporters, David.

 

Will do.

 

Mm. LeLe. Radek. Alert as always.

 

Yes, sir.

 

Away with you now. Enough lurking.

 

Are they biting?

 

Not today. They know I'm hungry. It's no coincidence that Popov's visit comes as NATO has asked to put missile in our country. The Russians view the move as bold aggression.

 

I come here to relax, sit with my dad, not talk politics.

 

Oh, you never cast a line without something on your mind.

 

What was our internal polling on NATO?

 

The cities and universities are supportive, but the rural areas view it with suspicion. Half view you as deep in the pocket of NATO, the other half see you as a Russian puppet gone soft. You are caught between two worlds, LeLe. The next days with Popov will be fraught, a high-wire act. One thing is certain. They will underestimate you.

 

I'm counting on it.

Good morning.

Rough night?

No, actually. As rough nights go, I've had worse. Productive. We got the most concrete evidence we've had in years.

Did I ever tell you about my first job with the Agency?

I don't think you have, no.

Started out in the Directorate of Support, actually. Nearly went blind reading cables, studying after-action reports, requisitions, anything I could get my hands on.

Oh, that sounds... thrilling.

No, it was actually how I learned every facet of our work, just through reading documentation. I never received an action report for your meet last night. You went solo?

No, I had Braeden on recon. It was public. Easy.

Okay. I've never really liked heroes, Jack. They tend to think more of their actions than they do the repercussions.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey. I could use your help.

- You need a cell phone?

- Nope. I just need to know what's on that card.

It's probably a Java card platform.

- Probably.

- Looks like a GSM.

 

Where'd you get it?

From the bad guys.

Cool. Um... Well, well, well. It's an encrypted app with a triple redundancy and a single-source send and receive. In layman's terms...

 

It's another way to send tracking information. What's the location?

Uh, right now? Nothing.

- What do you mean nothing?


- Well, it's Crimean Peninsula, but there's nothing pinpointed yet.

- Yet?

Well, I-I-I once heard about a guy who used a program like this to send hotel locations to his girlfriend.

- Mm-hmm.


- But his wife was a computer scientist at NYU. Nailed his ass.

Wait, are you saying that whosever on the other end of this is gonna drop a pin that
only that SIM card can read?

- Yeah.


- Now I'm gonna need a phone.

Well, you're in luck.
- Welcome to Burners 'R' Us.

 

- Oh. This one feels lucky.

During the Cold war, a small group of hardline Russians formed a plan to preserve the USSR. They called it the Sokol Project. Now, that name actually comes directly from a Russian war game called Sem' dney do reki Reyn, or "Seven Days to the Rhine." Now, that plan was based on a small wars doctrine. You sow unrest inside your Eastern Bloc neighbors through assassinations and misinformation in order to destabilize those governments. Then, use a limited nuclear strike to create chaos, that would allow for a land invasion into these countries, otherwise known as the Rhine.

The goal was to hold and expand the USSR's borders. To pull this off, they needed to engineer a nuclear weapon to be used without attribution, and they did, code name Sokol, or "Falcon." At the time, the technology was too advanced, and the weapon was never made, so the project was shuttered, or so we thought.

Until last night, I have confirmation from an asset that the Sokol Project is active. The weapon has been built, and it is on the move.

- Confirmed by who?

- Zoya Ivanova, a minister-counsellor with the Russian Embassy, Rome. SVR connections. I've crossed paths with her during my time at Moscow Station.

We believe that she has delivered to us a mapping program that will locate the actual nuclear material they intend to use inside the new Sokol missile.

Thesis?

I mean, best-case scenario, they've built a weapon that we can locate and destroy. Worst case, they've already started the implementation of Seven Days to the Rhine, in which case, we can all expect a lot of dominoes to fall, leading to what they hope to be a new world conflict.

Where does Zoya's intel originate?

That, I'm still trying to track.

Zoya was trained as a swallow, so she still has contacts inside that organization. She is a... notorious self-serving bullshitter, but when she isn't lying, she has good intel.

 

Problem is, swallows are almost always lying.

No. She's not lying. She's scared.

Where is this weapon?

The map says Crimea, although, a pin hasn't actually been dropped yet.

And what if one is?

Well, when a pin is dropped, I think it would be irresponsible, if not negligent, to ignore it.

Meaning?

Meaning, if confirmed, I would expect a SOG team to be sent in to deal with it immediately.

First, the U.S. can't officially go anywhere near Crimea. Russia is already screaming NATO aggression, and we don't have any wiggle room to make a mistake in that theater. Second...

- Uh...

you have a thesis, but it's not proven out. If something concrete comes out of Zoya's SIM card, we assess. If not, we move on. Good to see you, James.


I see Elizabeth is still busting your ass.

I'm starting to think it's her favorite part of the day.

Be careful with that one. She's smooth, but...she keeps her knives sharp.

As long as we are all friends here, I'd like to know your intentions regarding NATO and their desire to use your country as yet another launching station for their missile.

It's true that NATO has offered to outfit our Czech base with surface-to-air missiles. An offer I am considering. But...an offer I will refuse or postpone if the minister and his government would agree to cease all further incursions into Ukraine. Incursions that destabilize the region far more than a few missiles, and ones that cause Czechs to feel the need for NATO protection.

We need a moment.

Sure.

A bold offer and ask. And made publicly. Quite the ambush. It was my understanding today was for discussion, the football match tomorrow was the photo op. I should have been advised there would be journalists here.

You could've just sat and smiled for the cameras. You chose not to.

Tread lightly, Madam President.

So...how long are you going to give it?

I gave up on him a while ago.

Well...it's his loss.

I was going to surprise him. I bought tickets to the Russia match.

Sounds like you need someone to go with.

Huh?

Not a chance, slick. New valve, new rules.

Ah, rules.- Is that why you're looking so good?

 

- Damn right. Gave up booze, bread, dairy, even took up meditation.

- Really?

 

- Mm-hmm.

How's that work? So, for every pound you lose, you get another gray hair?

- Oh, fuck you.

 

- Ah, meditation's working.

Give me one. Damn it.

You know, there's a chance she could be fucking with us.

Zoya? No. Why would she go through all that trouble?

Embarrass the Agency. You know, burn through our resources, - send us on a wild-goose chase.

 

- Or I'm right. And if they're building a new weapon, then that justifies the risk, right?

Does me good to see that you took so naturally to the field as a case officer.

No. I don't accept this new Greer. All right? Take a look around. Look at your eye twitching. You want in the field so bad.

No, no, no. Those days are over.

Ah, you know, I'm just gonna keep my head down.

- Yup.

 

- You know, nice and easy, cozy in my office, earn out and retire. All wisdom comes from memory.

Did you just quote Aeschylus? 'Cause I'm gonna be really honest with you right now, okay? I'm cool with the dieting. I'm cool with the meditation. You start quoting philosophy, I have to worry.
No. You can't cheers with water.


Director Miller, Chief of Station Rome is on the line. She says it's urgent.

You'll have to excuse me.
You pulled me out of an NSA meeting, Elizabeth. This better be important.

We're talking a potential nuclear weapon. - It qualifies.

- I read the report. - It's a dead end.


- Hear it out. Jack.

Sir, we've received intel that a cargo ship built for refrigerated transport left the port of Sevastopol, Crimea yesterday. We believe that in the hold of that ship there is nuclear material, but we'd have to get on board to confirm.

Is this based on the information you received from Zoya Ivanova?

It is.

Former SVR agents don't often prove out legitimate. Sounds like white noise.

Well, in all my research, it turns out that everything she's provided is true. Look, the ocean's the Wild West, and the Russians know it. If they were going to
move a nuclear weapon, a cargo vessel would be the way to do it.

It's not exactly novel thinking.

Sir, how would history view us if we knew about a sophisticated weapon being moved and did nothing to interdict?

Use a four-man team, SOG, sheep-dipped, recon only. You find anything, JSOC takes over.

- Yes, sir.


- See it, confirm it, and get the fuck off, Jack.

Looks like you're a go.

Dr. Ryan, welcome aboard.

Oh, I appreciate the lift.

Do you also appreciate what a pain in my ass this whole operation is?

Yes, sir, I do.

Well, then we'll get along just fine. Launch is at 2000 sharp. You'll have no contact with us after you've left.

Understood.

Only way all this stays quiet is if you do.

All of what?

That's good.

Greer said you had a brain on you.

Aw. I didn't even know he cared.

He also said your guts got him in a world of bullshit. This op based on something like that?

Something like that.

Best of luck, Doc.

Hey. McAuliffe.

- Ryan.

- You clean?

- No I.D.s, no insignia?

 

- No, I'm good.

Let's roll out!

 

I have eyes on the minister and his entourage.


Popov is still in the hotel, but his plane is being prepped at Havel Airport. Looks like he might be leaving.

I pushed him into a corner. Made him an offer publicly he can't ignore.

Then let him leave.

They control the spigot to our entire energy supply. Turn it off, and the Czech Republic will grind to a halt.
I need a bottle of vodka sent to the minister's hotel. Make sure it's the brand name Soyuznik. It's Russian for "ally."

 

Go.


Clear! Looking for two digits! 6-B!

6-B.

Got it!

Clear.

Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Please! Please! - Don't shoot. Don't shoot.

 

- Get him up.

- I got him.


- You're American? - You're Americans! - Listen to me!

- Who are you?


- Y-Yuri Bashkin. I-I want U.S. asylum.

What were you doing in the box?

I'm a scientist. I-I had to leave Russia.

- A scientist? Scientist?

 

- Yes.

- We got to go.

 

- Sokol?

Yeah, Sokol, yes, yes. I help built it.

- We got to go.

 

- I was told the Americans would pick me up.

- We got to go now!

 

- Go. I got him. I got him. I got him. Go.

Move.

Let's go.

Last man.

Move.

Jack, was the package in house?

No nuke.

The package was a man.

A what?

His name's Yuri Bashkin. A Russian scientist on the current Sokol Project. He just confirmed there is a weapon.

Is he talking location?

No, but he was told that the Americans would pick him up before the ship made Greece. This is confirmation of all our intel. Someone has sent him to us for a reason.

Your S.R. operation is now an extraction of a Russian asset? There's no way we get the green light on that.

If you pass this up the ladder to Miller, he's either gonna blow it out or play wait and see. Either way, this asset goes dark, and the trail ends.

We'll send coordinates for a drop on the coast of Greece. Transpo will be waiting on the beach to take you to a safe house. Jack, I need you to play this by the book.

Jesus. Two PhDs in nuclear physics, the lead researcher of a Russian energy collective, and then they made him a colonel. They've been grooming this guy since junior high to work a black-box nuke program. It's better to ask forgiveness than permission.

- Well, your ass isn't in the chair, is it?

 

- Oh, come on.

Your boy is carrying an open flame into a part of the world that's already a powder keg, so all I need to know from you is whether or not he's good enough.


He's the right man for this.


You two are close. Been through a lot together?

- Yeah.

 

- It's funny. In his transfer order, he didn't list you as a reference. Why is that? Two major operations working closely together, his senior officer. It seems odd.

He's a bristly motherfucker when it comes to me being his boss. It doesn't change the fact that he's onto something, and you know it.

He better be.

 

- Thanks for the ride.

 

- Thanks for the party. Call anytime.

 

I just might.

These men, they are your people?

Yes. Calm down.

- Elias.

 

- Jack.

Let's go.

Wait. I need to know what you know. You said you were scared for your life. Why?

I ask too many questions.

How long have you been working on Sokol?

Four years. I was told we were building an enrichment... How do you say... facility. But then my duties and my focus changed.

Do you know how they're gonna use it?

Nyet. No. My work was only payload. Sokol is-is not high-yield. It's small, only three megatons.

Jesus Christ. Is it invisible to radar? Yuri, is it invisible?

Part of the team, they're working on reflection emission and infrared, yes.

All right, you said you asked too many questions. What kind of questions?

Are you familiar with a Russian war plan called Sem' dney do reki Reyn?

 

Seven Days, yes.

Those kind.

Yuri, you don't understand. They're gonna want more than that.

No more talk until I have asylum.

Let's go.

Get down!

Yuri, move!

Ready? Move!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Tight on me.

Move!

Run!
Get in! Get in! Get in!

Where are you?

They're dead. They're all dead. The entire team. Where am I going?

Can you make it to 524 Zinonos Street in Athens? Get there, and we'll talk.

Hold on.

Watch out!

Thank you for the vodka. An elegant choice. And an apology of sorts.

A truce of sorts.

We'll see how long it lasts. The game may reignite our animosities.

Czechs and Russians love their countries almost as much as they love their teams. Perhaps that's why we argue.

I want to make sure you pay up when you lose.

I appreciate your optimism, but that money will be mine.

Good luck.

It's the VIP parking right here.

Great parking spot.

Look. You can see the players' tunnel from here.

I know. Are you ready?

Yes.

For a small country, you have quite a team. And passionate supporters, it seems.

That's the fate of our republic: to be a small, proud country caught between two vast powers.

Ah, yes, the Americans.

 

You know, I was at by the Olympics in 1980. A young hockey fan full of patriotic vigor. What a game it was.

I may be young, but I'm well aware of that match and its outcome.

Who did the Americans defeat before they get to us?

The Czechs.

Why we must stay close, no?

I decided to bring your proposal to the Kremlin. I make no promises, of course.

Thank you.

shooter!

Police! Put your gun down!

- shit.

 

What? What is it? Is that them?

Hang on.

- Who sent you?

 

I cannot tell you that.

Yuri, someone sent you to us for a reason. Who is it?

Yuri, who wants you dead?

Asylum.

 

I'm the only chance you got. Sokol. How high up does it go?

 

Asylum.

Hold on.

- What are you doing?

 

Improvising.

Yuri, hang on.

Watch out.

Get out.

- What?

 

Get out of the car.

Come on, sit. Easy, easy.

 

Ow!

Breathe. You have to breathe. Breathe.

Go.
Run. Run.

Who helped you to leave Russia? They want to know how much you told him. Talk.

Fuck you, traitor.

You're bleeding.

It's not mine.

How the hell did this happen?

Stop it.

Madam President, the calls are coming in from foreign leaders, including presidents of France, Germany, the U.S., and the Russian prime minister.

Get me the Russian PM.

 

All right.

Incoming call via Ops Center. It's Ryan.

Where are you?

I lost Yuri. They killed him.

There's something else, Jack. Dmitry Popov is dead.

What? The defense minister?

Assassination. Soccer arena in Czech Republic.

Jesus Christ. It's started. Seven Days. The assassination would be the first domino. The Sokol nuke will be the last.

Are you at the safe house?

No.

Why? What are you doing, Jack?

Why don't you tell me?

The official line out of the Greek government is that you entered the country illegally to eliminate a Russian national and, in the process, killed one of their own.

Holy shit.

You're looking for a fall guy.

What do you mean?

Ask her.

What the hell did you do?

Jack, if you don't come in, you will be recalled, your embassy cover withdrawn. That means no diplomatic immunity. You will be on your own.

Someone reached out to me directly, which means whoever that is knows that I'm right. You bring me in now, we lose all communication and we're in the dark.

Let me make this more clear. If you run, this is going to get much worse for you.

Jack, listen to me. Don't do it.

Miller told you to burn Jack?

He left it to me. I made a choice. Jack was a resource. Now he's a liability. What the hell did you just say to him?

"Shelter in paradise."

Mozart in the Jungle: 01x01 - Pilot

It's easier with the lips slightly wet. [Inhales deeply] In through the nose... [Exhales deeply] Out through the mouth. Remember, each breath is a bridge to another breath. [Cell phone vibrates] Each breath is a bridge.

All right, Duncan, I think that's enough for today. [Cell phone vibrates] Duncan, listen to me.

Yes, Miss Rutledge.

Tomorrow's a really important day, okay? For both of us. Everyone's coming. Your grandmother is coming. So can you do me a really big favor, please? Try and practice before bed... just a little.

I will, certainly.

Um, did your mom leave a check?

Oh. Yeah.

[Cell phone vibrates]

Ew.

[Orchestral music]

♪ ♪

[applause]

I hope I wasn't too fast for you.

Oh, no, I thought you were rather sluggish tonight.

After you, maestro.

Beautiful, as always.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Good luck. [Chuckles]

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Joshua Bell.

Safe trip to Beijing tonight.

Well...

As most of you know, tonight's concert marks the final performance that I shall give as the conductor of this very fine orchestra.

[Applause]

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now, just because you won't see me here, it doesn't mean to say that I won't be here.

In fact, it's just the opposite.

I have gratefully accepted the newly minted role of executive musical director emeritus...

Whatever the hell that means.

[Laughter]

Before I do go, I would just like to say a heartfelt thanks to some very special people here tonight.

They are my colleagues, my friends... my family.

They are the men and women of your symphony.

Please.

[Applause]

And now will you please warmly welcome the woman behind the curtain, the board chairperson herself, Mrs. Gloria Windsor?

Thank you.

[Applause]

Good evening. Good evening.

Thank you, Thomas, for everything.

And so... as one movement ends, another must begin.

[Epic classical music plays]

It is my honor to introduce to you someone special.

At 12 years old, he was the youngest person to ever win the Mahler Award for young conductors.

At 23, he conducted at La Scala.

At 25, he lifted the Oslo symphony out of bankruptcy and placed them amongst the finest on the world stage.

♪ ♪

He has been courted by Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Munich, and we got him.

Please join me in welcoming a man who need only be introduced by his first name, your new conductor and musical director...

Ah!

Rodrigo!

[Mumbles]

[Applause]

♪ ♪

Mwah.

I love you.

[Laughs]

I love you. I love you.

♪ ♪

[murmurs]

[Laughter]

Oh. [Laughing]

[Thomas chuckles]

Oh. Aw.

I had to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I love you.

Does he also do children's parties?

I think he's amazing.

That was a great performance tonight, maestro.

Look, Gloria, I love you, but don't ever underestimate me.

[Chuckles] Darling, I think you go to the same hairdresser.

[Chuckling]

So I'm playing this rich-bitch gig in Sag Harbor, and the hostess is working my shaft, my balls, my shaft, my balls, and I'm totally f*cking hammered off of six glasses of Riesling, and then I pass out.

And then...

Good night, boys.

Good night.

Good night, Cynthia.

And then chomp...

Hey, sexy, you going downtown?

Oh, I'm sorry, Cynthia. I'm going uptown.

sh*t. I got to be in Times Square in ten minutes.

Two-a-nights?

Oh. Oh, I remember those days.

Here, you take it.

You're fantastic.

Brroklyn, 48th.

Well, Bruno, she played you beautifully.

Ah...

Bellissima, eh?

[Laughs]

Thomas, darling, over here.

Have a good night.

Yes.

Good night, maestro.

Maestro.

What? What's this?

The press release.

Oh.

They'll need a quote from you.

♪ but somehow we missed out ♪
♪ on the pot of gold ♪
♪ but we'll try ♪
♪ best that we can ♪
♪ to carry on ♪

[screaming] My eyes!

♪ I thought that they were angels ♪
♪ but to my surprise ♪
♪ we climbed aboard their starship
♪ we headed for the skies ♪
♪ singing come sail away ♪
♪ come sail away ♪
♪ come sail away with me, lads ♪
♪ come sail away, come sail away ♪
♪ come sail away with me ♪
♪ come sail away, come sail away ♪
♪ come sail away with me ♪
♪ come sail away, come sail away ♪
♪ come sail away with me ♪

Cynthia, you're k*lling me.

If it wasn't for this pretty young lady, tonight would've been a disaster.

I owe you.

May I offer you a ride home?

Easy, Bernard.

What's your name?

I'm Hailey.

Hailey, you're coming with me.

Okay.

Deborah...

You're welcome.

For what?

Keeping Bernard out of your pants.

I thought I knew every oboist in town.

I'm Cynthia.

Cynthia Taylor, I know.

You're second cello in the New York symphony.

It's a real honor.

You drink, I hope.

[Cork pops]

To Rodrigo!

All: Rodrigo!

I just love these ideas.

They're so fresh, so innovative.

I can see.

Thomas, I'm so glad you came.

Can we get a glass of champagne?

It won't be necessary.

I won't be staying that long. [Snaps fingers]

[Paper rustles]

Is this a joke?

[Snaps fingers]

"Under the guidance of our new conductor, Rodrigo Desousa, our coming season will feature some surprising highlights, such as turning off the house lights and playing selected pieces in complete darkness. "

We hired Rodrigo to bring new ideas, a youthful point of view.

You were in on the decision.

You continue to be in on every decision that we make here.

What next?

"Bring a pet to the symphony" day?

Our subscribers, they're not gonna stand for...

Oh, put that champagne down, Sergeant Pepper.

Champagne is for celebrating, and I don't consider the erosion of a magnificent institution like this...

Stop being so dramatic.

I'm gonna go.

Thank you, Gloria. Thank you.

It's been lovely. Maestro, court, grazie.

Grazie.

Haven't you got anything to say for yourself?

In English, preferably.

Emily Wu, the first violin, she played sharp 17 times in the first movement alone.

And then the horns came a bar late, which completely threw off the clarinet, and we weren't able to perceive Tchaikovsky's desired dynamic shift from bars 27 to 34.

And Bruno, Bruno Cassel, the bass player...

He's old.

He can barely hold his bow.

I don't know who you were torturing more... me or him.

You prick.

Changes will be made.

And, maestro, I hope I don't disappoint you or the values of this great institution.

Hailey Rutledge, oboist.

Yeah, that's my parents' idea of a Christmas present, so...

[Laughs] I like the drawing.

So I have on the rocks for you.

Oh, thank you.

And a neat for you.

And actually, um, this round's gonna be on me.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, of course. My pleasure.

Thanks.

Cute ass, right?

[Chuckles] Totally.

[Chuckles] I bet he's a dancer.

They're the best.

The best?

Anecdotal evidence and my personal scientific research suggest there's a direct correlation between what a man does fora living and the way he f*ck.

Mm.

Violinists, for example...

Yeah, come on.

They tend to come quickly. It's all those arpeggios.

[Moans]

Percussionists pound you like you're in a p*rn.

[Loud slapping]

Kind of fun for about ten minutes.

Good cardio, though.

[Chuckles]

What about them?

Pianists... tricky.

Typically they fall into two general groups: jazz and classical.

I go for jazz.

Why?

Improvisation: they play off you.

Also, they're into ensembles.

[Laughs]

[Cell phone chimes]

What about, um, conductors?

Too complicated.

Hailey, oboists area rare commodity these days.

Strings, on the other hand, we're like hyenas fighting over the same dead animal.

You're really good.

Thank you.

Okay, so can I get you anything else, ladies?

Your name.

Excuse me?

Your name, skinny jeans.

[Chuckles] I'm Alex.

You look like a dancer, Alex. Am I right?

Yeah, I... I am, actually... ballet.

I'm training at Juilliard.

Alex, Hailey. Hailey, Alex.

Hailey is an oboist from North Carolina.

Alex is a ballet dancer here in New York.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, yeah, you too, Hailey.

[Cell phone chimes]

Uh, listen, I better be going.

Why don't you, uh, sit down and the two of you chat awhile?

Oh, well, actually, we could probably share a cab, so...

I'm not taking a cab, but I'll call you.

Let's stay in touch.

Change or, uh... ?

Have a fantastic time.

Oh, thank you.

It's all good.

Your friend's awesome. What is it, like, an $40 tip?

Yeah. [Chuckles]

You don't actually have to stay here and talk to me.

Well, hey, you know, I'm actually about to get off.

Uh, a bunch of us are probably gonna go out later.

Want to come with?

Oh, I'd love that. I just, um... I have to get up so early.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

[Chuckles]

All right, well, um...

That's cool. Enjoy your drink and...

Drinks.

Drinks, plural.

Yeah. My loss.
This is a $350,000 cello, you assh*le.

Get in.

Don't treat me like a hooker.

I shouldn't have taught you how to text.

Pop it.

Ah, my whole world is falling apart.

He's good, isn't he?

Oh, well, don't tell me you wouldn't f*ck him.

Oh, please. Is this the kind of night it's gonna be?

Let me out.

Forget that. Keep going.

If you have to ask the question, you already know the answer.

Yes, he's good.

He's a monster.

He's making cuts...

Woodwinds and Brass for now.

The union will have something to say about that.

You can't just come in and install your friends.

Oh, I doubt he has any friends.

I was him once.

You still are.

[Belt buckle clangs]

[Record scratching]

Let's get Bizet!

All: Whoo!

[Classical music]

♪ ♪

Oh, sh*t! Look who got here.

This party's about to get f*cked up!

♪♪

You got to try my new invention.

♪♪

I call it the "ganjanome. "

Nice.

Okay, I'm gonna go to bed.

Oh, just stay up a while.

Have a drink, relax, you know, go f*cking apeshit.

You go f*cking apeshit.

I am f*cking apeshit!

Listen, hot guys are on their way over.

Do you want me to save you one?

No.

Well, there's a flutist out here, and he wants to play you in "showdown," and he thinks he's awesome, but I think you can destroy him.

No.

He said the oboe was an undernourished clarinet.

f*ck you, love you, goodnight, Lizzie.

All: Hailey! Hailey! Hailey!

Hailey! Hailey! Hailey!

[Cheers and applause]

I hate you guys.

All right, okay. Everybody shut up.

Final bets.

Oh, 20, all right.

Place your bets.

Final bets.

Whoo! Romantic, baby.

Two sh*ts.

Two sh*ts! Two sh*ts!

This is the piano arrangement.

It doesn't matter.

[Playing flute]

♪♪

[cheers and applause]

Boom.

Come on, come on, come on.

All: Oh.

Baroque. Three sh*ts!

[Playing oboe]

♪♪

Yeah!

Take that, bitch!

Not bad.

[Playing flute]

♪♪

Round and round it goes.

Who knows where it's gonna end up?

♪♪

[cheers and applause]

[Man laughs] Whoo!

[Whistling]

[Hits off-key note]

All: Oh!

Yes. Yes! Yes!

I got to put pants on.

[Cheers and applause]

sh*t.

How do I look? tr*nny train wreck?

No, you look fine. You look totally fine.

Yeah?

Why?

Well, those dancers are here.

One of them, Alex Merriweather, my friend says he's, like, the hottest thing at Juilliard.

I'm gonna seduce him.

[Speaking indistinctly]

What are you talking about?

So, yeah, it was, like...

It's been incredibly hard since my boyfriend d*ed.

I've been really lonely.

Hey.

Hi.

Is it, uh, cool if I join you guys out here?

Yeah, I'm Lizzie. This is my place.

That's my roommate.

Hey.

Yeah, we met.

I'm sorry about your boyfriend. That's... that's horrible. How'd he die?

Bubonic plague.

I got it, too, but I made it.

[Chuckles]

[Window opens]

Lizzie, you better get in here.

There's kind of an emergency.

Vomit in your victrola.

Oh, f*ck! That's an antique!

Most victrolas are antiques.

I'm just gonna purel this bitch right quick, and, um, I'll find you.

[Lighter clicks]

[Inhales sharply] You want some?

Oh, no, thanks. Smoke is the enemy.

[Both laugh]

sh*t. Sorry.

[Shivers] Oh, it's freezing.

Oh, here.

So... so you play just, like, unbelievably well.

Thanks.

North Carolina, right? I'm from Nashville.

That's kinda close, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah.

Kind of.

It's a pretty overwhelming place, huh?

Totally.

I feel like all I spend my time doing is, like, figuring out how to make money and then figuring out how to be a good roommate and a good daughter, and, like, none of it is about the art.

So when I'm successful...

You think it'll be easier?

It better be. [Chuckles]

You know...

I've always wondered something.

Do your lips hurt after you play like that?

Um, I mean, they used to. But now I guess they're, like, kind of used to being used, so...

That sh*t was f*cking disgusting.

And Hank had an accident on your bed too.

Oh, sh*t. Okay, thanks for your scarf.

Sorry.

It's freezing outside my apartment.

Feel like my tits are gonna fall off.

'Cause they're frozen.

Can I borrow that?

[Snoring]

Oh, my God.

What the f*ck, mom?

Sorry.

[Indistinct chatter, music playing]

[Squawking]

I sound horrible. I suck.

But I practiced last night.

I focused on my breathing like you said.

Duncan, shut up. Just... just shut up.

Get me a glass of water.

I'm extremely hungover, and I'm not proud of it.

[Knocking on glass]

[Mouthing words]

Okay, I know.

Each breath is a bridge to another breath.

[Cell phone chimes]

Hailey, it's Cynthia.

I don't care what the hell you're doing right now.

Drop it and get over to the symphony hall.

Rodrigo is holding auditions.

They're seeing Woodwinds until 11:00.

You didn't hear it from me.

I can't f*cking believe this is happening.

Okay, where were we?

Hailey, go.

You can sneak out through the service elevator.

What about your mom?

I'm not afraid of her.

And anyway, if you get that job, she'll brag to everybody that her son takes lessons from an oboist at the New York Symphony.

Get out of here.

Bye.

[Playing oboe]

♪♪

What do you think?

I... I...

Perfect, right?

Yes.

Next!

Grazie.

[Dramatic classical music]

♪♪

[playing oboe]

♪♪

Write this down.

I want a turkey sandwich with no mayonnaise.

What does it say?

Turkey sandwich with no mayonnaise.

Okay.

[Dramatic classical music]

♪ ♪

[playing oboe]

♪ ♪

Thank you. Next.

It's over, sir.

[Dramatic classical music]

♪♪

[sniffles]

f*ck.

[Plays note]

[Plays oboe]

♪♪

[rest of orchestra plays]

♪♪

The effects of Meditation

If you just sit and observe, you will see how restless your mind is. If you try to calm it, it only makes it worse, but over time it does calm, and when it does, there’s room to hear more subtle things – that’s when your intuition starts to blossom and you start to see things more clearly and be in the present more. Your mind just slows down, and you see a tremendous expanse in the moment. You see so much more than you could see before. It’s a discipline; you have to practice it.

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford commencement address

The term reflects the transformative nature of education and the idea that graduation is a point of departure, making the commencement of new opportunities and experiences.

Thank you. I am honored to be with you today for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told I never graduated from college and this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

Jury Duty : 01x01 - Voir Dire

My name is Ronald. I'm 29 years old.

 

[PRODUCER] Why are you here today?

 

To learn about jury duty, see

 

what this whole thing's about,

 

the process, everything in general.

 

Would you please introduce

 

yourself to the jury.

 

He destroyed my career, my

 

business, and my mental health.

 

- [LAWYER] Is that accurate?

 

- What are you doing?

 

This trial will be my last trial.

 

There's a substance called bromine.

 

- Objection.

 

- [JUDGE ROSEN] Sustained.

 

Could you just please talk to

 

him? He knows what happened.

 

I will arrest every last one of y'all.

 

It has sativa in it and Dexedrine.

 

Hey, hey.

 

I mean, maybe this is

 

common. I don't know.

 

But I feel like this

 

can't be that common

 

'cause just crazy stuff keeps happening.

 

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

 

[BEEPING]

 

When they say "jury of your

 

peers," I think that's accurate.

 

From the people that I've

 

seen in the waiting room,

 

you have everybody from all classes

 

of people, age groups, everything,

 

races, ethnicities, you name it.

 

Everybody's in that

 

waiting room, I feel like.

 

You want a Twix?

 

- No, I'm fine. Thanks.

 

- No?

 

Did you just go to the vending machine?

 

No, I went in the, um,

 

the little gift shop,

 

and there was nobody

 

there, so I just took them.

 

Nice.

 

So I am, like, an anarchist of

 

sorts. Like, I don't believe in rules.

 

I don't like institutionalized

 

systems of government.

 

It's just not my thing.

 

But then on the other hand,

 

I'm also kind of a fun girl.

 

I like your glasses.

 

- Oh, thank you.

 

- You look like Christopher Robin.

 

Uh, my name's Noah. I

 

just moved here to LA.

 

I'm from a I'm from

 

a kinda small town. Um

 

Everyone in my hometown said

 

that people in LA were mean,

 

but people are nice.

 

People are

 

kinda really nice.

 

You just looked cute over

 

here. I'm sorry. [GIGGLES]

 

- [NOAH] What?

 

- You, like, reminded me of someone,

 

but then I was like, oh, I

 

actually, like, wanted to, like,

 

ask you if you wanted, like, a

 

Chewy Bar or, like, a Big Hunk.

 

Oh, uh, no, ma'am, no.

 

Um, I'm all right, but

 

thank you. That's

 

That's really big.

 

[GIGGLES] I thought you would like it.

 

I just stood up to get some

 

water at the water fountain,

 

and somebody just took my seat.

 

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

 

Oh, yeah.

 

I wear a Water Buffalo canteen backpack.

 

Um, it sort of is like having

 

a small water fountain

 

with me all the time.

 

[SLURPS]

 

Although the ultimate objective would be

 

that one wouldn't need to

 

wear an apparatus at all,

 

that it would be, um,

 

just an auxiliary reservoir

 

that would be either grafted

 

onto or inside of the body.

 

- Yes.

 

- For hydration.

 

[SLURPING]

 

Excuse me. I'm gonna get some water.

 

- Oh, yeah.

 

- Again.

 

[JAMES MARSDEN] Good morning.

 

Yeah, just go right to the window.

 

- He'll give you paperwork to fill out.

 

- Okay. All right.

 

I'm sorry to bother you, but can

 

I take a picture with you, please?

 

What's that?

 

Can I take a picture with you, please?

 

- Just one, just one.

 

- Yeah, yeah, sure.

 

Okay. Um

 

Oh, no, you don't have to

 

- Sorry, would you mind taking a picture?

 

- We could do a selfie.

 

I wanna get the whole Thank you.

 

Do you mind? [LAUGHS]

 

- Sorry about that.

 

- Okay, here you go.

 

[CHUCKLES] All right.

 

Can I kiss you on the

 

cheek? If not, I can pretend.

 

- Uh, how about just a

 

- I'll do it from here.

 

How about just a little

 

- How about just an air kiss?

 

- Okay.

 

[LAUGHS] All right, we're

 

gonna get in trouble.

 

- Let me see.

 

- Yeah, check 'em for sure.

 

Thank you so much.

 

- Very nice to meet you. Yeah.

 

- Yes, you too. I love you so much.

 

- Thank you.

 

- Thank you.

 

Oh, sh*t, dude, that's

 

where I know you from.

 

You're in X-Men.

 

Oh. [LAUGHS]

 

I've been thinking

 

that this entire time.

 

I didn't ask your name. Forgive me.

 

- Ronald.

 

- Ronald?

 

- Yeah.

 

- James.

 

- It's a pleasure.

 

- Nice to meet you.

 

Yeah, I was trying to pinpoint it.

 

I was like, "I've seen you somewhere."

 

Yeah, but I've been

 

in, like, so much stuff.

 

It's, like, X-Men and

 

Hairspray and Enchanted

 

and Westworld and

 

stuff like that, but

 

Notebook.

 

- Oh, sh*t, you're in Westworld?

 

- [CHUCKLES] Yeah, I am.

 

[PRODUCER] I know him from The Notebook.

 

He's in The Notebook?

 

Nuh-uh. What is he in The Notebook?

 

- The other guy.

 

- He's the other guy?

 

The guy she really should

 

have got together with.

 

Oh, my God. I haven't

 

seen that movie in so long.

 

I didn't even I didn't realize.

 

Now, look at his socks over here.

 

It looked like it said "sonic,"

 

and I'm in that movie Sonic.

 

I'd like to see if Sonic

 

Oh, sh*t, you're in the movie Sonic?

 

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

- Really? That's the one with

 

The new one with Jim Carrey, right?

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

I heard that was not a good movie.

 

- [INHALES SHARPLY]

 

- Is it funny?

 

Or is it supposed to be action?

 

It's, like, action and funny, like,

 

you know, a road trip buddy movie.

 

It was, like, he and I, and

 

then Jim Carrey plays the

 

Are you, like, a main role in it?

 

- Yeah.

 

- Oh!

 

Apparently, he's in the new

 

Sonic movie too. [CHUCKLES]

 

- Yeah, he was talking about that a lot.

 

- [LAUGHS]

 

I'm hoping I get released.

 

I got a big director meeting

 

at 5:00 I just gotta make.

 

I haven't got the role yet,

 

but it's a big, big meeting.

 

There you go.

 

I mean, how long does

 

this normally take?

 

- Have you done this before?

 

- I was gonna ask you.

 

[RONALD CHUCKLES]

 

What do people usually say

 

when they're trying to,

 

like, get out of this?

 

Like, what's, like, the move? Like

 

I'm only going off a thing

 

that I've seen on Family Guy,

 

and that's probably not

 

the best thing to use.

 

Wait, what was it?

 

Peter pretends to be r*cist to

 

get out of jury duty. [CHUCKLES]

 

That's pretty smart.

 

- To the right, sir.

 

- [JAMES] Right.

 

Thank you. To the right.

 

[CLEARS THROAT]

 

Nice.

 

If we could make this

 

as quiet as possible

 

and quickly as possible,

 

that would be wonderful.

 

All rise.

 

Trial court of the State of California

 

28th District is now in session.

 

The Honorable Judge

 

Alan Rosen is presiding.

 

Sit down, folks.

 

Respectfully, uh, gentlemen,

 

if you would take off your hats.

 

Gentleman in the last row,

 

if you could remove your hat,

 

I'd appreciate it. Thank you.

 

I've been sitting in this

 

courtroom for 38 years.

 

And sadly, this trial

 

will be my last trial.

 

So for want of better

 

words, this is my swan song.

 

And I think with that,

 

is there any of you, for any

 

reason, who are unable to sit

 

for what might be a week

 

or so for this trial?

 

You, sir, in the front row.

 

I have a surgery scheduled

 

at the end of the week.

 

Something

 

from inside my body has gotta come out.

 

Stop. You're okay. Thank

 

you. You may be excused.

 

I have to pick up kids.

 

Are you the primary caretaker?

 

Of picking them up

 

and watching them, yes.

 

All right, well, then

 

you're excused. Thank you.

 

Yeah, madam in the second row.

 

It's just not my thing

 

this jury duty stuff.

 

Madam, I sincerely appreciate

 

you even coming down today.

 

And if you're not 100% committed,

 

we're gonna excuse you too.

 

Thank you.

 

"It's not my thing."

 

I think this is a good time to

 

break. We'll take an hour recess.

 

[JAMES SIGHS]

 

There's a food truck, so

 

hopefully that'll help you out.

 

[JAMES SIGHS]

 

Ladies and gentlemen, if you leave

 

the property without telling us,

 

that's a contempt of court.

 

You don't wanna do

 

that to yourself, okay?

 

- Oh, sh*t.

 

- [NIKKI] Thank you.

 

- Won't be doing that, I guess.

 

- Yeah, watch it.

 

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

 

[JAMES] Just gotta get the

 

judge to recognize me, you know?

 

[RONALD] Mm-hmm.

 

[JAMES] If I do, I

 

feel like when he says,

 

you know, "Oh, that's James Marsden,"

 

he'll let me off. I

 

mean, they always do.

 

Oh, for sure. I mean, the judge

 

seems to be letting everybody go.

 

Right.

 

Exactly. Right.

 

- Can I sit here?

 

- Oh, uh, yeah, sure.

 

Thank you. [GIGGLES]

 

Um, do you, uh

 

You want half my sandwich?

 

- Really?

 

- Yeah.

 

Yeah.

 

I would love that. [GIGGLES]

 

[JAMES] Oh, sh*t, there's the judge.

 

- Is that him?

 

- I think it is.

 

I wanna ask him if I can

 

Your Honor, I have this

 

meeting with a director.

 

- It's just a work thing.

 

- I'm sorry, I can't talk to jurors.

 

- Wait, did that just work?

 

- [JAMES] No.

 

Oh. [LAUGHS]

 

In addition to the

 

3.6-liter liquid reservoir,

 

I've also added a reservoir for solids

 

which can support up to

 

28 ounces of solid food,

 

provided that it's emulsified

 

into a fine paste first.

 

[SLURPING]

 

[JAMES] Yeah, I've been called

 

for jury duty four times.

 

Every time, I get dismissed.

 

But, uh, this judge just

 

isn't getting it yet.

 

I gotta create a little scene, maybe.

 

If he comes back around,

 

I might just announce I'm

 

buying everybody lunch.

 

[RONALD CHUCKLES]

 

And if you guys can kinda,

 

like, be like, "Oh, yeah."

 

Like, give a cheer or something.

 

I don't know if it's gonna work,

 

but, I mean, give it a sh*t.

 

God, I can't believe this.

 

[JAMES] Well, yeah. No, no,

 

no, hey, if I can get off

 

- Here he comes, here he comes.

 

- [MAN] Did Chrissy get a vegan taco?

 

In my own backyard,

 

this is what they do.

 

Okay, everyone, I'd love to

 

take photos with everyone,

 

I just don't have the time today.

 

But in lieu of selfies, I'm

 

buying lunch. Lunch is on me.

 

- Ooh, James, baby!

 

- Whoo!

 

You're welcome. My

 

pleasure. My pleasure.

 

Judge, you want something?

 

Lunch is on me, Your Honor.

 

Your Honor?

 

Ally McBeal season five?

 

Glenn Foy, the new associate?

 

What would he have

 

known from my work? God.

 

That didn't work. I'm

 

gonna have to do

 

[FOOD TRUCK WORKER] Hey, do

 

you wanna give me a credit card?

 

Uh sure. Yeah.

 

What if I already paid?

 

Can I get reimbursed?

 

I have a receipt.

 

Whoo-ooh.

 

- What up? What up? What up?

 

- How's it going, man?

 

- Ah, damn it, James, dude.

 

- Oh, man.

 

- I owe you an apology, man.

 

- Why? What for?

 

I humble myself before you.

 

I watched Sonic last night, dude.

 

- You did last night?

 

- It was fire, bro.

 

Hey, 54, I don't mind you

 

talking, but just, you know.

 

Thank you while we get

 

everybody checked in.

 

- [JAMES] Sorry. You got it. You got it.

 

- Appreciate that.

 

I thought it was hilarious.

 

You didn't tell me that Ben

 

Schwartz was the voice of Sonic.

 

Oh, yeah. [STAMMERS]

 

I kind of forget about him sometimes.

 

I thought he was hilarious.

 

[RONALD] I have to

 

apologize to the guy, man.

 

That's exactly what I have to do.

 

I told him I heard it was a sh*t movie.

 

So [LAUGHS]

 

- Thank God, yesterday, we got out.

 

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

 

I mean, I know we're back, but,

 

like, I have a meeting with this guy.

 

Try and think about,

 

like, the big-time director

 

that maybe has been somewhat problematic

 

and hasn't been Me-Tooed yet.

 

Is his first name Quentin?

 

Look, I can't say if

 

you did guess, but

 

All right, all right.

 

But if he calls and

 

says, "You got the part,"

 

I can't say, "I can't

 

do it, I'm on jury duty."

 

Exactly.

 

We recessed a little early yesterday.

 

And, uh, I went to my

 

car to get my lunch,

 

and apparently someone

 

had broken into my car.

 

I cut my hand getting things out,

 

so forgive me if I'm

 

not in the best mood.

 

Nikki, would you please

 

put six in the box?

 

This is called voir dire.

 

And the English translation

 

of the French voir dire

 

is "to speak the truth."

 

You are a member of, um, RBI?

 

- Yes, ma'am.

 

- What's RBI?

 

Reddit Bureau of Investigations.

 

I mean, yeah, I'm into

 

true-crime documentaries,

 

podcasts, all that stuff, you know.

 

So when I got the summons, I

 

was like, "Hell yeah, finally."

 

But, nah, this case is dumb.

 

It looks like you have a lot of kids.

 

- Like, a lot of kids.

 

- [ROSS] I do. I do. Um

 

I can't be away from my kids

 

for a long period of time.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] How

 

many kids you got, sir?

 

I have 36 kids.

 

What are you, a foster parent?

 

I'm a teacher, so a lot of those

 

kids, I feel like they're my own kids.

 

These are your students?

 

Yes, they're my students,

 

but when they're

 

Sir, this isn't relevant. Sit down.

 

I have a back injury. A year ago,

 

there was a car accident

 

that I came upon.

 

I pulled a three-year-old girl

 

out of the car and it rolled.

 

The paramedics had to

 

cut me out of the car,

 

and the jaws of life kind

 

of pinched me in the back.

 

C4-C5 was ruptured and I just

 

can't sit for long periods of time.

 

I'm sorry. Where were you just pointing?

 

C4-C5, down here. There's

 

They're, uh, compacted, I think.

 

Okay, well, there's one problem.

 

Your C4-C5 is up by your neck.

 

How about it's just not for me?

 

You sit down, sir.

 

I, actually, I have this trip

 

with, um, with my girlfriend.

 

It's our It's our

 

six-month anniversary.

 

[DEBRA] A trip?

 

Yeah. This is the first time that

 

we've been completely unsupervised.

 

Our parents aren't there,

 

so you could kind of see

 

how that would be, like, a big

 

Sir, a vacation is not

 

an excuse. I've heard

 

It's just that our parents

 

aren't gonna be around,

 

so we're really free

 

to do anything that

 

- anything we haven't done yet.

 

- [DEBRA] Right.

 

[NOAH] You can imagine what

 

Excuse me. I've heard it all.

 

And going away with your

 

girlfriend, that's not gonna suffice.

 

I'm terribly sorry.

 

Are there any other reasons,

 

aside from this trip,

 

that you feel that you would not be able

 

to be a good juror for this matter?

 

[NOAH] Um

 

I, um

 

I-I

 

- Sir.

 

- I'm I'm

 

I also am, uh, r*cist.

 

Sir, please have a seat.

 

I'm sorry. You're a r*cist?

 

[NOAH] I, uh

 

No, I'm sorry. I-I'm not.

 

I'm not r*cist. I, um

 

I was told that that would work.

 

Who told you that?

 

Um

 

All right, never mind.

 

If I put you under oath, you would

 

attest that you are not a r*cist?

 

- Is that correct?

 

- No, I'm not. I'm not.

 

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

 

- [JUDGE ROSEN] Okay.

 

Counsel.

 

- I think I'm gonna let this group go, Your Honor.

 

- [JUDGE ROSEN] Yeah.

 

- Please.

 

- Yes.

 

Dude, I can't believe he

 

said that. That was crazy.

 

- He told him to do it.

 

- I did not tell him to do it.

 

- [LAUGHS]

 

- I never told him to do it.

 

That was pretty clumsy.

 

It's been an interesting day.

 

Did you buy or rent Sonic?

 

I saw it on Hulu.

 

That's a bummer.

 

If you would've bought it,

 

I would've got a dollar.

 

It says here that you're

 

a member of the USTHO.

 

Um, United States

 

Transhumanist Organization.

 

- Trans what?

 

- Transhumanist Organization.

 

It's, like, a political advocacy group.

 

What are you guys advocating for?

 

Advocating for changing

 

attitudes around, um

 

the incorporation of, like,

 

cybernetics into, um, everyday life.

 

Lightsaber-netics?

 

Like, cybernetics.

 

Like, cybernetics. Thank you.

 

Juror number 54.

 

Juror number 81.

 

Have you ever served on a jury before?

 

Uh, yes, ma'am.

 

Was that here in Los Angeles?

 

No.

 

[DEBRA] Where was it?

 

Cannes.

 

In France?

 

Yeah, it's the film festival.

 

[DEBRA] I mean, a civil

 

or a criminal jury.

 

[JAMES] Oh, no, no. Sorry. No.

 

[DEBRA] Okay.

 

- Thank you very much.

 

- You got it.

 

[DEBRA] Appreciate you.

 

Does anyone here have any

 

reason why they don't feel

 

like they would be a

 

good juror for this case?

 

Uh

 

Yes, um, I feel like there's a chance

 

that I might be an

 

unwelcome, uh, distraction.

 

Why is that, sir?

 

I'm a recognizable public figure.

 

Respectfully, I don't recognize

 

you. I'm sorry, who are you?

 

That's, uh That's

 

okay. A lot of people do.

 

My most recent movie is this

 

movie Sonic the Hedgehog.

 

And we were just

 

This gentleman and I were just

 

chatting about it earlier and yesterday,

 

and he's a big fan and we

 

You were talking to this gentleman?

 

Stand up.

 

- Do you know who this fella is?

 

- I do, yeah.

 

It took me a little bit

 

to notice him yesterday,

 

but I recognize him, yes.

 

What has he done?

 

He's done X-Men, Sonic. He's

 

in Hairspray, 27 Dresses.

 

- Enchanted.

 

- Uh, Death at a Funeral.

 

- Um

 

- [JAMES] Westworld.

 

Have you seen all those films?

 

- No.

 

- [JUDGE ROSEN] Okay.

 

Do you think that him sitting

 

would be a distraction?

 

Not for me, no.

 

With all due respect, I don't

 

think you'd be a distraction either.

 

So why don't you both sit down.

 

[JAMES SIGHS]

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] We're gonna

 

break for 90 minutes.

 

We will announce jury selection

 

when you return, so enjoy your lunch.

 

Come back to courtroom three at 2:35.

 

- [RONALD] Oh, boy.

 

- Yes, you ought to.

 

Dude, bro.

 

Don't lead with X-Men.

 

You never do that.

 

People think of X-Men, they think

 

of Jackman. They don't think

 

Whatever. It's fine.

 

It's fine. It's fine.

 

I think I got a little

 

something anyway, so

 

This ain't over.

 

Hey, Shannon. Hey, it's Marsden.

 

Uh, I need you to do something for me.

 

Well, the dog sh*t can wait.

 

You can pick it up tomorrow.

 

Listen, I need you to

 

call someone for me.

 

[CAR ALARM BEEPING]

 

All right, folks, counsel has met

 

with me during your lunch hour.

 

How are you guys coming along?

 

[DEBRA] We're right there. You got it.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] Then this is the list?

 

- I got it.

 

- [SHAUN] This is it.

 

- [JUDGE ROSEN] Okay.

 

- [DEBRA] Okay.

 

Okay, folks, as I call your number,

 

please stand and take

 

a seat in the jury box.

 

Number 24.

 

Number 43.

 

Number 56.

 

[NIKKI] Please stand, 56.

 

Oh, no way!

 

I was shocked with number 56, the

 

gentleman who claimed to be r*cist.

 

Oh, Noah.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 50.

 

[GIGGLES] Like, he's just,

 

like, really, like, innocent,

 

and I feel like I want

 

to, like, corrupt him.

 

[BOTH LAUGH]

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 73.

 

Number 54.

 

[JAMES EXHALES DEEPLY]

 

Damn, bro, I can't believe

 

they picked you! That's crazy.

 

Yeah, man.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 17.

 

Number 14.

 

Number 11.

 

[SIGHS]

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] Number 41.

 

And number 37.

 

That will be the people who

 

are selected as our 12 jurors.

 

We also name two alternates.

 

They will sit throughout the trial.

 

Uh, number 47.

 

Sir, um, why don't you take

 

the seat next to that gentleman.

 

Oof.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] And, uh

 

Number 81.

 

[BLEEP]

 

Number 81?

 

[SIGHS]

 

[GRUNTS]

 

Oof.

 

And with that, Nikki, if you would

 

swear the jurors and

 

the alternates in place.

 

[NIKKI] If you all can please stand

 

and raise your right hand, please.

 

You can put your belongings on

 

the floor however you need to.

 

Do you understand and agree that

 

you will well and truly try the case

 

now pending before this court

 

and a true verdict render

 

according only to the

 

evidence presented to you

 

and to the instructions of the court?

 

- [JUROR] I do.

 

- [JURORS] Yes.

 

[NIKKI] You are now the jury in the

 

matter of Hilgrove versus Morris.

 

Please take your seats.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] Be seated, please.

 

Okay, typically what happens in

 

- [BANGING]

 

- What the hell is going on?

 

[MAN] Marsden!

 

Mr. Marsden!

 

- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

 

- [MAN] Excuse me!

 

James! James!

 

Yo, how y'all let them

 

How y'all let them get

 

through the security?

 

Counsel.

 

[NIKKI] That can't happen again, guys.

 

[RONALD] I saw the paparazzi at,

 

like, the same time they showed up.

 

I just happened to be

 

looking over in that area,

 

and I saw the bang came from

 

the camera being pressed up

 

really quickly against the glass.

 

So I saw it. So it

 

definitely did make me jump.

 

- Nikki, what's going on?

 

- I'm coming.

 

Bullshit, yo.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] What's going on?

 

Possibly some coming

 

from outside of the house.

 

I don't know how they got

 

through the other side doors.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] How the hell

 

did the paparazzi get in?

 

If this hasn't been enough

 

distraction, I don't know what is.

 

Mr. Marsden, could you stand up, please?

 

Sure. [CLEARS THROAT]

 

These paparazzi, are they here for you?

 

I believe so.

 

This is my lot in life,

 

sir. They follow me.

 

You can't control them. They show up.

 

And I've gotten used

 

to it, to be honest.

 

Do you think there's a possibility

 

that these folks will interfere

 

with the jurors in trying

 

to get gossip on you?

 

Yeah, potentially. I mean

 

Like I said, I can't control them.

 

This is a problem.

 

I couldn't agree with you more.

 

Listen, I understand

 

why you gotta let me go.

 

I wish I could stay and

 

serve. I'll just be on my way.

 

Don't go anywhere. Don't

 

go anywhere. Sit down.

 

[JAMES SIGHS]

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] I wanna

 

make one thing clear.

 

I will not let this case

 

result in a mistrial.

 

I will be damned if my 38-year

 

career ends in a mockery.

 

Alternate Juror 81, you are

 

not dismissed from jury duty.

 

We are going to sequester the jury.

 

You'll be back here tomorrow

 

at 10:00 in the morning.

 

You will bring personal

 

belongings for at least a week.

 

I will give you proper instructions

 

for sequestration in the morning.

 

- I don't know the definition of the word.

 

- I googled it. It's "isolated."

 

- Isolated.

 

- Separated.

 

It's gonna be, like, camp, like,

 

staying with all of these people.

 

Are we clear, folks?

 

Are we clear, sir?

 

Yes, sir.

 

Tomorrow, more details, 10:00 AM.

 

Y'all dismissed for today.

 

Do we have to share rooms?

 

- Like, with each other?

 

- You'll find out tomorrow morning.

 

Oh, I hope not. I snore.

 

I'm trying to still

 

figure out stuff myself.

 

[PRODUCER] Hey, guys, we'd love

 

to do an interview with all of you.

 

We're gonna go around the room.

 

Everyone tell us what you're

 

feeling right now in one word.

 

Let's start with Pat.

 

So, what, how do I feel?

 

[PRODUCER] Yeah. One word.

 

Kidnapped.

 

Happy.

 

Excited-annoyed.

 

It's a new experience.

 

Uh misunderstood.

 

Understanding.

 

In mourning for my career.

 

Adventure.

 

Fine.

 

Eager.

 

Meh.

 

I just wanna say to everybody

 

here, I'm not actually r*cist.

 

I just wanna make it clear. I was

 

just really trying to get out

 

I didn't want to do jury duty.

 

I can't because I

 

have schedule conflict.

 

And that was just something

 

I kind of said that's

 

Maybe next time don't say that, though.

 

- Yeah. I'm so sorry. I just

 

- Why did you say you're r*cist?

 

I don't know, I just thought that's

 

Just, like, eliminate

 

that for the next time.

 

Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

 

It's a stupid idea I had. I

 

don't know why I said that.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] This season on Jury Duty.

 

I have the honor of

 

representing Ms. Jacqui Hilgrove.

 

It will be up to you to determine

 

how much her suffering is worth.

 

- I'm gonna show them. Oh!

 

- [JUDGE ROSEN] Oh, my God.

 

[BLEEP]

 

[ALL SCREAM]

 

- Oh, my God!

 

- This is gonna be awesome.

 

[JUDGE ROSEN] This is probably

 

the most unorthodox trial

 

Oh, sh*t!

 

that I've presided over.

 

There's always something

 

crazy that comes up.

 

Oh, my goodness.

 

Bones with more bones,

 

and then just the bones,

 

and then bones with other bones.

 

"We saw James Marsden's giant sh*t."

 

[NIKKI] I will arrest

 

every last one of y'all.

 

- Okay, wait, slow down.

 

- Okay.

 

[ALL CHEERING]

 

Oh, no! No!

 

[RONALD] There have

 

been so many just weird,

 

crazy things that have came up.

 

Who knows what's gonna

 

happen at this point?

 

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Just Add Magic 02x01 - Just Add Halloween

Last season on

"Just Add Magic"...

 

What is it? It's a cookbook.

My grandma's.

Grandma and I never made any of these recipes.

 

These are totally magical.

 

Kelly: Grandma isn't sick. She's under a magic spell.

I know that the cure is in the cookbook.

 

The magic has a mind of its own. There's never not been a downside.

 

[gasping]

 

You are dealing with powerful forces you cannot control.

 

I gave the book to your grandmother and her friends. I hope you will be wiser than they.

 

This is my curse. When I play outside my house, no one can hear me.

 

I haven't been able to leave Saffron Falls for over 40 years. Hopefully, together we can help your grandmother.

 

Mama P never had any intention of helping Grandma Quinn.

 

It was always about breaking her own curse.

 

So long, suckers!

 

Jake.

 

He's frozen.

 

Everybody's frozen.

 

Kelly: I think it wants us to create our own recipe. I believe in our cake. I believe in us.

 

Hannah: That cake unfroze the town, brought Kelly's grandma back, and broke Miss Silvers' curse.

 

What if all curses are broken.

 

We spent years trying to bring him back.

 

Are you talking about Chuck Hankins?

 

I'm telling you, he took a bite, and then just disappeared into thin air.

 

Grandma Quinn: If Chuck's back, nobody's safe.

 

Kelly, you haven't touched your cake.

 

There was a lot of... cake at the pluot festival.

 

It's delicious.

 

Well, you can thank your dad. He's the one who picked it up from the grocery store.

 

I got it from the fancy section.

 

[chuckles]

 

Another piece, Mom?

 

Mom, answer me. Are-- are you--

 

I'm fine, Scott.

 

[sighs]

You didn't answer me. I thought you were--

 

I was taking a sip of water.

 

I'm sorry, it's just-- I'm still so shocked. How do we know you're back for good?

 

I am. Trust me.

 

Can we have cake every day now?

 

Mm, I don't know about that, but how about a game of Monopoly?

 

I'm the shoe.

 

Oh, you're gonna have to play without me.

 

Why? Are you feeling sick?

 

Everything's fine. In fact, it's just perfect. I just want to

get some sleep. So, thank you for the party. Tomorrow, I'll whup all of you in Monopoly, and I get to be the shoe.

 

[chuckling]

 

Grandma. What are we gonna do about Chuck?

 

Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out tomorrow.

 

But you said if Chuck's back, then no one's safe.

 

I just overreacted. Let's just get some sleep tonight.

 

[crickets chirping]

 

♪♪

 

[gasping]

 

[sighs]

Chuck.

 

♪♪

 

Gina: Hold on. You're sure it was him? You didn't see his face.

 

It was him, Gina.

 

It doesn't seem possible. He's been gone 50 years.

 

Ordinarily, I'd agree with you, but I never thought I'd see an entire town freeze before my eyes, either.

 

You shouldn't have gone out there alone, Grandma. If Chuck is dangerous, then you could have gotten hurt.

 

Don't worry about me.

 

If he's out there, then we need to find him.

 

Yes, and fast.

 

I had a feeling you were gonna say that.

 

Wow. I haven't seen that in a long time. May I? It's so strange holding it again after all these years.

 

[pages rustling]

 

It's like old times.

 

"Miso-Person's Soup."

 

"The person you seek will appear in the broth crystal clear. "You will know where they are, be it far or near." Okay. That's cool. It's like a crystal ball.

 

Yes. Way cool.

 

Werpoes, lapsis, tofu. I think we have all of the ingredients. Except one. What's a grunde fingerroot?

 

Grunde? I've never heard of that before.

 

The grunde family are vision spices.

 

That will allow us to see Chuck in the broth.

 

So where do we get it?

 

It grows in my garden.

 

Honestly, I've never had a reason to use it.

 

Well, you do now. Let's go get it.

 

It's not that easy.

 

The root can only be harvested one day a year.

 

What? When?

 

Halloween.

 

It's only May.

 

We can't wait 'til Fall. Who knows what damage Chuck could do by then.

 

It's okay. We can find another way to locate Chuck. Somehow.

 

[door opens]

 

What took so long?

 

Darbie walks slow.

 

What's the big news?

 

I found a spell. I was flipping through the book, and it landed on this.

 

Hannah:

"Pick-A-Date Dates."

 

First of all, I don't eat dates.

 

You can make an exception. This will allow us to go back in time. Pick a date. We can go back to Halloween, and get the grunde fingerroot from Miss Silvers' garden.

 

And then we can come back and make the Miso-Person's Soup, and find Chuck.

 

Okay. Best spell ever. But if we're going back in time, I say we go see dinosaurs.

 

How will that help us get the grunde fingerroot?

 

Maybe they had Halloween in dinosaur times?

 

[chuckles] Well, maybe they did, but Miss Silvers wasn't around in dinosaur times. Let's just go back to last year.

 

Last year? Oh, that was a bad Halloween.

 

Yeah, I didn't like my costume. And somebody pushed me into the jelly bean display at Mama P's, which was totally embarrassing.

 

I know, and Hannah went home sick, but at least we know what to expect.

 

This whole thing just feels dangerous.

 

Not as dangerous as having Chuck running around.

 

I really don't think we should do this.

 

Well, what about your grandma? What did she say?

 

I, um-- I didn't tell her. She just got back to normal and has enough stress worrying about Chuck.

 

[sighs] Okay, you're right. It's up to us.

 

I agree.

 

But I still think seeing dinosaurs would be cooler.

 

Okay, I-- I think we have everything, but there isn't a riddle.

 

But the riddle's my favorite part.

 

Wait, what's this? It's just a bunch of notes scribbled in German.

 

Kelly:

[reading in German]

 

Here, I'll run it through my translator app.

 

I think this is the riddle, guys. "Back in time you go, date any you pick. "Half to go, half to come back. "One way ticket this is. "Nine more chances you have."

 

Yes.

 

That doesn't rhyme.

 

It's the free version.

 

♪♪

 

Okay, remember, the important thing is we eat half to get there and half to get back.

 

So do not lose it, Darbie.

 

Maybe you should hold onto it for me, just in case.

 

[chuckles]

 

Okay, here we go. Take us to last Halloween.

 

Did it work?

 

I don't think so. Everything looks the same.

 

But we followed the recipe.

 

[growling]

 

Yes!

 

I thought you'd be a little scared.

 

Sorry, Dad. You were very frightening.

 

Hopefully not too scary. I don't want to upset the trick-or-treaters.

 

I wouldn't worry.

 

Well, I'm off to the store to buy more candy.

 

You always buy too much, Dad, especially last year. I mean, this year.

 

I know, but this way there'll be plenty left over. For me.

 

[chuckling]

 

So now what?

 

We better get to Miss Silvers'. Let me grab a sweater, though. I'm dressed for summer.

 

Kelly: We don't need a map, Darbie.

 

Well, we don't have time to waste on houses that pass out generic candy.

 

Hey, why isn't my house on the map?

 

I love your parents, but carrot packs are not candy.

 

[sighs]

That was close. We almost ran into our past selves. How could we not think of this?

 

Yeah. That would seriously scar me for life.

 

I have an idea. Come on.

 

♪♪

 

[howling]

 

[maniacal laughing]

 

♪♪

 

I really think I should have been the bear. You know I love bears.

 

But Darbie, you wanted to be the knight.

 

I didn't see the bear.

 

Guys, we did our best. It's Halloween night, all the good costumes were gone. Let's just focus.

 

Fine, but next year, I get to be the bear. I love bears.

 

Okay, I'll get the grunde root while you guys keep Miss Silvers busy.

 

Are you guys actually trick-or-treating at Silvers' house?

 

Yeah.

 

She's a witch.

 

Well, not exactly.

 

I wouldn't eat anything she gives you.

 

What do you think you're doing?

 

TP-ing Silvers'. It's a tradition.

 

Well, not this year.

 

Yeah. Leave her alone. Or we'll tell her what you were going to do.

 

Who knows what that crazy witch will do to you.

 

Poor Miss Silvers. Everyone thinks she's scary.

 

Well, so did we last year.

 

I mean, I still think she's kind of scary.

 

But she means well.

 

Come on, let's go.

 

♪♪

 

[knocking]

 

What do you want?

 

Trick or treat.

 

I know what you're up to. You're going to TP my house.

 

No. We're just walking around the neighborhood for Halloween. Trick or treat.

 

One sec.

 

♪♪

 

Ooh, mini peanut butter cups. Nice.

 

Well, here, take more.

 

I guess I could have some more.

 

It's okay, I don't get many visitors. I really like your costumes. The bear is really cute.

 

Thank you.

 

Have fun tonight.

 

Did you get it?

 

No. Someone took it.

 

It just doesn't make any sense.

 

Maybe Miss Silvers harvested it for some reason.

 

No, I think she would have told us that when we talked about the spell

in her kitchen.

 

Where are you going?

 

I'm not traveling all the way to Halloween and not getting candy.

 

[sighs]

Her garden is filled with secret spices, it just seems strange that the one we want just happens to be the only one that someone stole.

 

Well, that's the last time I go to that house. Look what they gave out.

 

Toothpaste?

 

Oh, yeah. That's my dentist's house.

 

Can I have it? I love cool mint.

 

So I guess we should go home now, huh?

 

I mean present home, not past Halloween home.

 

We can't. We came here for the grunde fingerroot, and we're gonna find it.

 

How?

 

[sighs]

There's only one person that I can think of that knows magic, and would steal something from Miss Silvers.

 

All: Mama P.

 

♪♪

 

This year, I'm gonna win. All I have to do is guess how many are in there, and I'll be eating jelly beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

This is so itchy. I wish Little Red Riding Hood wore a sweatshirt.

 

Yeah, and my stomach is killing me. I hope I'm not coming down with anything.

 

Here. Maybe you need to eat something.

 

How's a peanut butter cup going to help my stomach?

 

How won't it?

 

[laughs]

 

[indistinct chatter]

 

Look at Mama P. Remember how everyone loved her?

 

Hannah:

I could see through her act now. She's so phony.

 

I bet those free samples she's handing out are magical. To get people to buy things in her shop. Still, they look good.

 

No, Darbie.

 

Guys, it's Jake.

 

Uh, hi. Welcome to Mama P's, and happy Halloween. Would you care for a mini burrito? I made them myself.

 

It's Jake's first time cooking at the shop.

 

Thank you, Mama P.

 

And thanks for the opportunity.

 

Nonsense. Thank you.

 

Just remember me when you're a famous chef.

 

Mm, I could eat your Jakeritos for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

Jake what-os?

 

She means... they're amazing.

 

Jakeritos. I like the sound of that.

 

Sorry, guys. This past-present stuff is confusing.

 

It's about to get more confusing. Look. Come on.

 

[sighs] This is creeping me out.

 

I know, look how young we looked.

 

It was six months ago.

 

Yeah, but pre-magic Darbie was much more innocent. The bumblebee costume wasn't as bad as I thought.

 

Okay, we need to get into the spice cabinet, get the grunde root, and get out of here.

 

How are we gonna get into the cabinet? I mean, this place is packed.

 

Look.

 

All: Charlotte.

 

Great. That's all we need. Charlotte.

 

Great. That's all we need. Charlotte.

 

Hi, Hannah.

 

Happy birthday, Charlotte.

 

Thanks.

 

Nice costume, Darbie.

 

Why aren't you at your big birthday party, Charlotte?

 

It hasn't started yet. The haunted house people are still setting up.

 

You have haunted house people?

 

Yeah.

 

Ugh, she's so pretentious.

 

She's not that bad, Kell. You're just upset 'cause she's captain of the basketball team and you're not.

 

I don't want to be captain. But if I was, I would treat people better. She's mean.

 

Yeah. Especially when you miss a three-pointer. And a lay up. And pass to the wrong team.

 

There's no way we're gonna to be able to get in the pantry without being seen.

 

Actually, there is. Remember all the commotion after I got pushed into the jelly bean display?

 

Yeah, they went everywhere. When Mama P goes to clean it up, we could slip in.

 

It's gonna happen any moment now. Some stupid knight is gonna push me into the--

 

Oh.

 

You know what you have to do.

 

How weird.

 

Actually, not really.

 

Nice costume. I'm Dar-bee.

 

I'm Dar-lene.

 

You had a chance to go trick-or-treating yet?

 

A little bit. Make sure you avoid the house on Elmwood with the big inflatable witch. They give out toothpaste. And you may want to do your algebra homework. There could be a surprise quiz next week

 

O-kay.

 

[clattering]

- [gasping]

 

[indistinct chatter]

 

Come on, come on, hurry.

 

There's a lot of spices in here.

 

Oh. I got it.

 

I can't believe some jerk pushed me, and didn't even apologize.

 

Let's just get back to trick-or-treating.

 

Oh, my stomach hurts.

 

Are you okay?

 

Yeah, I'll be fine. I just need some rest. I should go home.

 

What were you doing back there?

 

Uh... looking for the bathroom.

 

It's right there. Under the sign. Open your bags.

 

That's not necessary.

 

We were really just lost.

 

Open.

All right. But that area is for employees only. Keep out.

 

[sighs]

 

That was close. Where'd you put the grunde root?

 

In the Jack-O-Lantern bag right--

 

Oh, no.

 

You put it in my bag? I mean, not my bag, but past me's bag?

 

Come on.

 

Darbie!

 

Sorry, guys. I wasn't thinking. I had to do something quickly.

 

It's okay. We can deal with this. Hannah went home sick, so all we need to do is go see her-- you, and switch the bags back.

 

Actually, I... didn't go home. I kind of went to Charlotte's birthday party.

 

You lied?

 

Well, not completely. I didn't feel great. Look, she invited me and I didn't want to tell you guys.

 

Why would you go to Charlotte's party?

 

I liked her back then. I thought you guys were too hard on her, but after I went, I realized you were right all along. She is mean.

 

I can't believe this. That's why you didn't want to come back to this Halloween.

 

I'm so sorry. I never should have lied to you guys.

 

Well, we can't deal with this now. We have to go to Charlotte's party.

 

[sighs]

 

♪ Wait for an invitation to arrive ♪

♪ It's a dead man's party ♪

♪ Who could ask for more? ♪

 

Darbie:

Look at this party.

 

It really wasn't that fun.

 

Is that a chocolate fountain?

 

♪ Leave your body and soul at the door ♪

 

Not fun, huh?

 

I know it looks like I was having a good time, but I felt really guilty.

 

Let's just find your Halloween bag.

 

Where is it?

 

Oh, that's right, I totally forgot. I misplaced my bag.

 

You what?

 

Well, I didn't remember until now. It wasn't important at the time.

 

Where'd you put it?

 

I don't know.

 

Okay, retrace your steps.

 

Let's see, um, I played a few games, made a Sundae, entered the dance contest, then I--

 

Sounds like you were miserable.

 

I also went into the haunted house, but it was too scary, so I ran out. You know how much I hate scary things.

 

Look, that criminal has it.

 

Kelly, you can't just accuse him of st--

 

No. He's a criminal.

 

♪ Walking down the street ♪

 

Oh.

 

♪ I was hit by something ♪

♪ Last night in my sleep ♪

 

He went in the haunted house.

 

I am not going in there. I still have nightmares about it.

 

We don't have a choice. Let's go.

 

♪ Come and leave your body at the door ♪

♪ Leave your body and soul at the door ♪

 

♪♪

 

Darbie: Whoa. Check out the zombie birthday cake. I think these spiders are real.

 

Stop!

 

Ow! Hannah. None of it's real.

 

Except for the spiders. And I'm pretty sure that's a real coffin over there.

 

Okay, I can't do this.

 

Hannah, relax. Look. A piano. You love pianos.

 

Not when it's being played by a dead mummy with no hands.

 

♪♪

 

Look, there's the criminal.

 

What?! No, don't leave me.

 

What are you doing?

 

That's my friend's Halloween bag.

 

No, it's not. Prove it.

 

Charlotte: Hey! What's going on?

 

He stole my friend's Halloween bag.

 

No, I didn't. Look, it has my initials inside. And my inhaler.

 

He proved it.

 

Oops. Sorry. Um, great costume.

 

Wait. Who are you? I know everybody at my party.

 

We were invited by the DJ.

 

Get out. Or I'll get security.

 

Seriously? Security?

 

We got kicked out. Come on.

 

Wait.

 

I think I know where my bag is.

 

Okay. Hurry.

 

It's only fake. It's only fake. It's only fake.

 

[crickets chirping]

 

[door closes]

 

You, uh, texting your mom again?

 

It's Kelly. She's checking in on me.

 

I told her I didn't feel well.

 

Mm.

 

Why didn't you invite them? I mean, almost everyone else from the basketball team is here.

 

Why would I? I mean, Kelly's jealous that I'm captain, and Darbie-- Well, no offense, but I just don't get her.

 

Well, no offense, but Kelly should be captain, and Darbie, she's awesome.

 

Look, I'm sorry, but they're lame. You can be friends with whoever you want, though.

 

You're right. I can. I can't believe I blew my friends off for this party. Talk about lame.

 

[scoffs]

 

♪♪

 

[sighs]

 

[gasps]

 

It's only fake. It's only fake.

I got it.

 

Yes.

 

Turns out, I left it in the haunted house.

 

You're the best.

 

I am?

 

Thanks for sticking up for us.

 

Oh. You saw that.

 

Hey, I'm sorry I ditched you. You guys are the best.

 

Maybe on the way back we can trick-or-treat a little more?

 

[giggling]

Yeah.

 

Yeah, totally.

 

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for this night to end.

 

Promise me next time we go back to see the dinosaurs.

 

Deal. After that haunted house, dinosaurs don't seem that scary.

 

Okay, and half to get back.

 

Did it work?

 

Everything looks the same.

 

Ooh, leftover Halloween candy from last year.

 

Yes, it's leftover.

 

Because it's summer. Right?

 

You okay?

 

Yeah, fine, just too much sugar.

 

You want a piece?

 

No, thanks. Maybe just one.

 

We did it. Now we can find Chuck. Wherever he is... he can't hide.

 

[glass breaking]

 

[bell jingles]

 

♪♪